


Death Is Calling Me

by Ms_Notebook (You_Light_The_Sky)



Category: Kyoukai no Rinne | Rin-ne
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-02
Updated: 2012-01-02
Packaged: 2017-10-28 18:30:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/310872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/You_Light_The_Sky/pseuds/Ms_Notebook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. RxS. Sakura doesn't want to see spirits. Rinne doesn't want to be a shinigami. Yet they both try to help the dead. A darker version of Rin-ne, where our protagonists are raised quite differently.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Rin-ne/Kyokai No Rinne. It belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.
> 
> Note: This is an alternate universe, where the cast is raised differently. They will be ooc, but hopefully under realistic circumstances. There is minor violence and swearing in this story, and a gradual romance between Rinne and Sakura.

It wasn't the first time that Sakura had encountered shinigami before, nor was it the first time she had been the target of a few mean-spirited ghosts.

By now, she had plenty of experience practising nonchalance, particularly when entering her adolescence. Yet every now and then, her carefully crafted mask of casual ignorance was broken, with a flinch or tense movement, and the spirits would realize that she could _see_ them and then they would give chase. Sakura would run. Running, she had plenty of experience in.

An elderly man nearly toppled over his walker as he ventured to the baker's shop, as Sakura whisked by him and made his hat fall to his feet. She shouted a quick apology before resuming her run, intent on getting as far as she could from her supernatural pursuers. Her impromptu steps were nearly slighted by the obstacles in her way, the various stop signs and bushes as well as more unaware pedestrians. Sakura pushed past many of them, until her litany of apologies became as natural as breathing.

The chills up her spine had yet to vanish and she could feel the cold auras gaining ground, hear the ghastly whispers of last regrets from the ghost's lips. Sakura frowned and sped up. Her speed was one that wowed the track team every time, yet it was something she could never join, not when she was always so relentlessly stalked by harmful spirits.

It brushed against her foot, leaving a purple bruise and long red scratches. Sakura stumbled on the gravel, nearly falling into a swing set before she realized she was in a deserted playground (awfully convenient for the early evening). She regained her footing and stared at her latest ghostly stalkers, female triplets around the age of five.

At first glance, they seemed normal enough. But Sakura knew better. She noticed the light lines of silver running down their eyes as blood, as if they were crying. Blackened chains connected the three sisters and each held long blood stained kitchen knives, glittering in between their see-through forms and the background of the trees.

Sakura kept her face blank and she wondered how she would avoid another confrontation today and if she didn't, she wondered how she would escape them and then make a suitable excuse for her mother to believe when she arrived home. The calculations and possibilities raced through her mind. Sakura's fingers inched to the holy water stored in a small purse sewn to her skirt (she had sewn it there, just in case), prepared to throw it on the spirits as a diversion.

They smiled at her and then they attacked.

There was one triplet inches from her nose but Sakura's trained reflexes pushed the ghost out of the way while the other hand whipped out the holy water. It was in a vial, but the vial had the top of a Windex spray screwed on so that she could spray it at the spirits in the ready. The other two triplets screech at her arms, trying to slice at her skin but she managed to spray them with a torrent of water, making their limbs splattered with burning holes.

The triplets howled in pain while Sakura winced, feeling the aura of their emotions and turmoil echoing in her. Part of the reason why it was so difficult to fight against the paranormal was because of her (unwanted) affinity with them. She seemed extremely attuned to their emotional states, emphatic to the point where she could feel what hurt them and it cost her when she tried to escape her angry pursuers.

Like now, as the three ghosts recovered from her attack and swooped down on her from all sides. Sakura had no where to run, she wondered if she could jump high enough to avoid them or if she should try ducking under, when one slashed at her side and the others bit at her fore arms. Sakura cried out and tried to spray more of her holy water on them. But she only saw the whitish wisps of the little girls and how their smiles leered and how their auras seeped into her soul as if she were dipping her body into a bath of ice cold water.

Sakura did not scream. She had been attacked by too many spirits in her life time to give up to pain so easily. But she struggled, struggled so much, only thinking of seeing her mother again, of living up to her father's expectations, when her vision started to blur and the blood became too much…

That was when she saw robes decorated in red wheels on fire and the flash of blood-red hair and eyes. The ghosts dissipated in the brightest light she had ever seen while Sakura fell into comforting warmth. Arms wrapped around her, there was a deep voice, rather endearing, calling out and asking if she was ok.

The last she remembered was the fierce worry in red eyes, as she thought, _oh, another shinigami is here,_ and she blacked out.

It wasn't the first time she had seen the dead. It wasn't the first time they had tried to kill her. It wasn't the first time she had had to run and defend herself and it wasn't the first time she had seen a shinigami.

But it was first time she had ever encountered _him_. And really, this was perhaps, one of the main events that had started the beginning of everything.


	2. Salesmen Smiles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This story, a very long one, is very episodic. It will be divided into arcs. The first arc is called 'Salesmen' while the second arc is 'Hunter,' then 'Reaper' and so on. The beginning of the chapter names will incorporate the names of the arcs so that there won't be confusion.

"Your daughter was merely walking home when she was attacked by thugs," he said meticulously, the way a bored pizza employee sounds when he answers the phone. His aura was very different from the other shinigami Sakura had felt before. There was reluctance to him, as if he didn't want to be there.

She felt her empathy resonate strong with that feeling and slowly opened her eyes to look upon the scene. There seemed to be cramps on her eyelids, refusing to cooperate, much like the stinging in her heavy limbs, but Sakura forced them apart, to look upon the shinigami that had saved her.

It took time, for the dizziness had a way of making her feel like she was floating in a stormy ocean, but her sight focused on the figure that had a swinging pendulum in front of her mother, while feeling half-blinded by the brightness of the lights within the house.

He was a tall one, with an interesting haori decorated with flaming red wheels. Most shinigami wore strange attire, the flashiest of things or the most formal kimonos. This shinigami had no need for extravagance to capture attention, his bright fire engine red hair did the trick. It was a familiar shade, one that Sakura could have sworn she had seen a glimpse of before, perhaps in a crowd or a fleeting dream.

Sakura was in an awkward position, held like a bride in the shinigami's arms. She had to crane her neck upwards to see any details of the boy's face, but could only get a view of his chin and neck. From what she could tell, he was her age and (as her paranoia-trained mind detected) he had no scythes or reaper weapons upon him. This oddity assured Sakura that he was of no danger to her mother, yet.

The pendulum swung back and forth, levitating in the air since the shinigami was using his arms to hold her. It was a mechanical and lulling swing, hypnotic in its repeating motions and alluring golden glimmer. Her mother had fallen under its spell ages ago and was looking blankly ahead.

That was to be expected. Shinigami often hypnotized humans accidentally involved in their missions so that they would not be able to recall those events afterwards. That was the rule, to separate the living from the dead.

"She only escaped because she was quick enough to evade their hold," Sakura heard the shinigami murmur.

This was odd. Shinigami didn't normally come up with cover stories for their victims. They usually left black gaps in human minds, and humans, being so _human_ , would come up with a suitable excuse for themselves. Sometimes humans didn't dismiss the gaps in their memories. Sometimes they dealt with such gaps harshly.

It was rare to find a shinigami who would bother with the 'insignificant' details.

"Her injuries are a result of their knives and fists," he continued as monotonously as before. "She went straight home afterwards and collapsed at your doorstep, after explaining the basics of the situation with tired breaths. You will take her in and take care of her wounds without asking any further questions."

"Yes," her mother replied in a daze. "I will take her in and take care of her wounds without asking any further questions."

The shinigami handed her over to her mother's arms, startling Sakura. Her arms instinctively went to her skirt-purse, ready to spray the holy water, as they always did when she was taken by surprise. It was a survival mechanism built into her.

She heard a slight gasp before she could fire when she met his eyes. Sakura froze, for she had never seen a shade of eyes so red.

 _Like blood_ , her mind whispered.

(A memory echoed in her, a rabbit, being lost in a foreign land, finding balloons, and then… And then…?)

"You're awake," he said, bringing the pendulum in front of her gaze. "That will make this easier."

Then she fell back into darkness, as the voice whispered for her to forget all things and think the whole thing to be a bad dream, a result of street thugs, a result of reality, instead.

* * *

She woke up, safe and sound in her bed, as if the attack had been her nightmare, summoned from the deepest reaches of her imagination. Her pyjamas were clean and comfortable cotton, with patterns of rabbits on the sleeves and blouse. The room was tidy, with only the required furniture, sparse of personal touches. It was like waking to reality.

But Sakura knew better.

"I still remember."

This was the first thing she would say after hypnosis. Such things never had an affect on her for some odd reason.

The bruises remained, exactly where she had gained them and her mind was still fresh from the night's events. She was familiar with the work of shinigami, having been (supposedly) wiped of her memories numerous times before. Often the messengers of the dead did this after they saved her from ghosts, thinking Sakura to be an ordinary human being. Perhaps these methods didn't work because she was anything but.

There had been a time in her life when she tried to seek out the shinigami's attention, to call on their aid and expertise. She had told them of her sight. That incident had not ended well and now Sakura took care to avoid their scouting by pretending not to remember, playing along with the blissful act.

Sakura sighed and got out of the bed. She wondered why the red-eyed shinigami had taken care of her wounds (before her mother could look at them) and spelled her mother to believing that Sakura had merely been attacked by thugs. It was considered a waste of valuable time for shinigami to fabricate memories. Such time could have been used to guide more spirits to the afterlife, and as such, it was a low priority to do such a thing.

It was no matter. She was unlikely to meet the Red (who she dubbed the shinigami of the day) again. It was time to get ready for another day.

She got dressed for school, noting that the uniform she had worn yesterday had ghost blood on it and would need to be washed. Then she picked up her school bad and headed downstairs where she was coddled by her frantic mother.

"Sakura, you should stay home today!" Kaori Mamiya said with her curls all astray. "You need to recover from that attack—" For a moment, Sakura thought maybe her mother _knew_ but then Kaori continued, "—I thank the heavens that those thugs didn't harm you even more than necessary!"

Her mother did not notice how Sakura's shoulders stiffened slightly or how her daughter tightened her grip around the handles of her bag. Sakura's face eased into its usual calm smile.

"I'm fine," she said, and she waited.

As always, her mother stepped away, accepting her daughter's judgement. "Alright. But be careful today, Sakura-chan." She wrapped her arms around her and kissed her forehead. "I love you."

Sakura hugged her back, watching the ghosts gathering at the kitchen window, peering in hungrily at her. They always gathered by the house exists but had yet to enter her home, ever. She suppressed a shiver, kept her smile in place, only lingering in her mother's warmth for a moment more.

"I love you too, mama."

* * *

Walking to and from school was one of the worst parts of her day.

"Hey _, little girl_ ," It crooned against her neck, sending prickles of pure cold down her spine. It leaned closer, so that Sakura could see through its shimmering face to the sidewalk in front of her, but she could not avoid its leering smile. "You can _see_ us, can't you?"

The spirits congregated around her, like moths to a flame, brushing against her legs, her arms, her face, sending tendrils of cold into her veins. Sakura resisted the urge to shiver, kept her gaze fixed to the stop sign ahead as if they weren't there.

That was difficult, considering how suffocated she felt around ghosts and how their conflicting emotions resonated within her, as if she were the ghosts themselves. She could feel their lingering depths of despair and rage, their longing for a pulse, for the ability to breathe again. She could feel it and she could do nothing, because it was rare that she could do anything to help at all. Helping only made things worse. If she managed to guide the gentler and more pitiful spirits to the otherworld, it would attract the attention of the _dangerous_ ghosts, the ones with murderous tendencies.

Best to keep walking.

They followed, as always, jaws wide without shame. Sometimes she felt as if she were a piece of meat, walking through a crowd of starved (but chained) dogs. The auras radiating from the spirits had undertones of desperation, of hunger.

Her feet almost twitched to walk faster, but Sakura forced them to keep their pace. Don't attract attention. Don't act abnormal. It only made more ghosts follow her.

Normally this was enough. The ghosts could certainly sense something strange about her, but they couldn't make her prove that she could _see_ them. Most spirits were like this. It was only when the more terrible ones came lurking, came to eat the weaker spirits, that the spirits dispersed and left Sakura to fend for herself from the terrible ones.

Those ghosts, you couldn't trick. They always knew. And Sakura always had to run from them.

But today was a good day. There seemed to be no sign of the dark oppressive auras of the terrible ones, the murderous ghosts. There was only the sickening groping of condemned ghosts, all whispering their tragic stories, all trying to get any human that they could to see them.

Sakura walked on.

* * *

"Good morning, Sakura-chan!" One of the girls in her homeroom called out. She was a brunette with a bouncy short hair cute, Rika. Her arm was outstretched in an enthusiastic wave as she rushed up to link arms with Sakura. "It's alright if I call you that, right? Because Mamiya-chan sounds too polite and I want us to be good friends this year."

Sakura, unused by such greetings, gave a small smile. "Sure, I suppose I'll return the favour...?"

"Oh yes. And do call Miho-chan by her first name too. She's been my best friend since elementary school. We're so glad to have met you," Rika rambled.

It was only a month since her first year in high school had begun. Because of how distant she acted around her classmates, Sakura had a difficult time finding close friends. Her only friendships were shallow and forced at best since she had to maintain the facade of a normal girl. It was difficult to make excuses for her paranoid and odd quirks, so Sakura chose to nice and calm, so much that she suspected it intimidated others.

But Rika's bubbly nature was open and inviting. It was hard not to resist her warmth and the urge to laugh genuinely around her.

Rika dragged Sakura into the school courtyard, where their other friend Miho was waiting patiently by the doorways. As they drew closer, rows of shoe lockers could be scenes, as well as cliques of students chatting happily to each other about the television programs they watched the other evening or the latest trends in magazines.

As noisy as ever, the spirits trailed around Sakura, but she ignored the way they breathed against her limbs and her skin. She focused only on Rika's rambling, on Miho's wave.

Then, as they stepped into the school, the ghosts shrieked in pain, causing Sakura to feel pain with them. She quivered on her knees, her empathy for the supernatural hindering her movement. Meanwhile the ghosts whooshed away, avoiding the barrier which seemed to prevent them from entering the school grounds.

She released a breath and stood up, even as Rika asked her if she was alright.

"I'm fine," Sakura said for the second time that day. "It happens."

"But still—"

"No, she's right," Miho intervened, seeing Sakura's apprehension of being coddled. "Sakura-chan often has dizzy spells when she walks into the school. It's a medical condition. She's anaemic."

At least that was what the doctors called it, even if her blood showed no such thing. In any case, it was a welcome excuse.

Rika still looked concerned but, seeing Miho shake her head, decided not to pursue the topic. But the inquisitive gleam in her eyes told Sakura that she would be hearing more about the issue in the future.

"Ten minutes till the bell rings, let's go," said Miho, tugging on Sakura and Rika's sleeves. "We don't want to be late."

"Argh, what a pain. I don't want to learn about trigonometry in the morning," Rika moaned, shoving her shoes quickly in her locker before she followed Miho. "Maybe I should take a leaf out of that hottie Rokudo's book and skip school once in a while."

"No way, Rika-chan. He seems like a total delinquent!" Miho wrinkled her nose as they turned down the hall, past the crowd of scurrying students.

"But he's a hunk, an exotic hunk! Sakura-chan, what do you think?"

Amused, she was about to reply that she had no idea who this Rokudo was when a flash of red, the same shade of red she had thought she'd seen on the shinigami from last night. But what could Red be doing in a high school? Did he suspect something? Was he going to hurt her classmates or..?

"Sakura-chan?" Rika waved a hand in front of her eyes. "Are you feeling dizzy again? You look really pale. Maybe we should take you to the infirmary..."

"No," she shook her head, her acting flowing out as naturally as her smile. "It's nothing. I'm probably just seeing things."

She hoped so.

* * *

They barely made it through the classroom doors before the bell rang through the halls. With well-practised steps, the girls made it to their assigned seats without even blinking. Rika collapsed into her chair, looking exhausted while Miho slumped backwards in relief. The girl was still a little annoyed at Rika for nearly costing them their perfect punctuation but was too used to chastising her friend to hold on to a grudge. Sakura pulled out her pencil case and notebooks, unbothered by it all. Her friends made the mornings more bearable, which was all that really mattered.

Their teacher, Higurashi-sensei, entered shortly. She was a tall woman in her late twenties, often called a 'babe' by the male students in the school. Higurashi-sensei had many admirers but a meaner temper if anyone dared to cheat or laze around in exam time. All of Sakura's classmates straightened up and all chattered died down once their homeroom teacher entered. Smiling, Higurashi-sensei straightened her classes and cheerfully told them good morning. She began with announcements from the teacher's council and a few reminders of upcoming due dates for assignments.

As usual, the words flew into Sakura's ears but seemed to fly out as quickly as they came. Her focus was on the window, at the distant spectral figures which were patrolling the outside of the school but unable to enter. The barrier, or whatever it was that prevented them from entering, was as strong as ever. If a spirit tried to touch it, even with one small finger, they would be zapped and blasted away with great force. Sakura had never paid it too much mind. She learned that if she grew too curious of such things, it could mean bad news for herself. But today the barrier bothered her.

It was only one month into the school year. Her mother and her had just moved in a week before. Cities were always crawling with ghosts. She was attacked twice as often as she was in the 'normal' towns she had used to live in. Tokyo was her birthplace and Sakura had been initially reluctant to return. But having a protected school and two new friends had changed her opinion. It wasn't so bad, as long as she kept her weapons with her at all times and ran... very fast.

Her thoughts strayed again and Sakura allowed herself the luxury. Daydreaming was one of her favourite pastimes and she could only do so at home and now at school. She wondered about the empty desk next to her and why she rarely saw her mysterious classmates. Vaguely she could recall that he had come to the first week of classes... but other than that Sakura couldn't remember anything substantial about him. Oh well, she thought. Such things had little significance. She doubted that the identity of who sat next to her could be essential information. So she dismissed that thought.

This was when her classmates started to whisper to each other excitedly. Sakura paid no mind, content to stare out the window and drown out her teacher's voice with daydreams.

Class was starting. They were doing a lesson on quadratic equations. Half of her paid attention while the other concentrated on mindless things, such as what to cook for dinner and when to stock up her holy water. She wondered if her other uniform was clean of blood yet and whether she should bring knives to school instead of her yo-yo. She was so immersed in her thoughts that she did not notice when a piece of paper was thrown on top of her desk, rather conspicuously by Rika. It took several loud (and not very discrete) hisses from Rika before Sakura returned to reality and noticed it.

She unfolded the lined page and stared down at the characters written by her friend.

 _That's him, Sakura-chan. The boy sitting next to you is THE Rokudo! Isn't he exotically handsome? Look at his eyes and hair and you'll see what I mean!_

There was also a rather large smiley face and many hearts drawn around the sentence. Sakura slipped the sheet under her math notes and slowly, for the sake of indulging Rika, turned her head slightly so that she could peer at the person to her right.

What greeted her was the exact shade of red that had secretly puzzled her all morning, as vibrant as fresh blood and roses.

 _Red._

She blinked.

Red hair and tanned skin, a stoic and lazy air about him and a sleek, well-cared for school uniform. It was him. He was wearing different clothes but it was him, the one from before.

A thump reminded her that she was in a classroom and had just dropped her eraser on her desk. She closed her lips, having not noticed that they had parted in surprise at seeing the shinigami from the night before as her usually absent classmate. Slowly she picked it up and tried to look as if she had been paying attention to the lecture the whole time but failed. She had let her face smooth into its usual calm but inside her nerves were racing.

Rika and Miho were shooting her concerned glances. They had never seen Sakura react with such surprise before (even if it was a mild impression). Perhaps she was struck with love and adoration as the rest of the female population was? And perhaps she was just hiding it under her blank mask, trying not to appear desperate?

But no, Sakura's mind was far from that subject.

She wondered if the shinigami organizations remembered who she was and if they were coming after her. She wondered if they would try to beat the sight out of her this time, if they would carry through with their threats and harm her mother, if they would throw her into—

She saw his eyes flicker towards her from her peripheral vision. They were just as red as his hair, if not a deeper shade.

"...Are you alright, Mamiya-san?" Rokudo whispered, so softly that she thought she had imagined it. "You look pale."

That was a common question that her classmates asked her. It was no secret that she had 'anaemia.' Sakura tried not to sound suspicious and responded with the first answer that came naturally.

"It's your hair," she said bluntly, feeling calmer once she said what was on her mind. "It's red. I don't think it was that red before, was it?"

He paused, eyes still on the chalkboard.

Sakura's fingers slowly inched towards the yo-yo in her pocket, a yo-yo she had had redesigned to be a lethal weapon if necessary. Just in case.

Yet then Rokudo turned to face her and he did something which would bother Sakura forever.

He smiled.

But it wasn't a real smile, not a genuine smile. The smile seemed to be constructed out of observation, from watching others grin gleefully at one another or disarm strangers with charm. This smile was too bright and too inviting. It didn't suit his character and...

It was so fake, so...

...deceptive.

"I dyed it the first week to avoid attention," she heard him say in that sickening cheerfulness. "... It didn't work very well so I washed the dye out while I was absent."

Then he flashed another one of those faux smiles and Sakura suppressed the urge to shiver.

* * *

"Details, details!" Rika exclaimed on the rooftop, with a friendly tackle-hug on Sakura's shoulder. "What did Rokudo say to you? Don't you think he's cute? Do you think he has a girlfriend?"

"Please get off, Rika-chan," she replied neutrally. "I don't think it really matters. He didn't say anything to me."

It was almost amusing to think about. Did her potential enemy have a girlfriend? It wasn't the sort of information Sakura deemed useful to escaping or outsmarting him. She preferred to leave as many people out of her ghostly affairs as possible. There was less risk of harming them accidently and they were kept away from her more dangerous pursuers.

"Lies!" Rika replied dramatically, "I saw him talk to you! He must have said _something_."

Sakura opened her bento stiffly and bit her lip. Rokudo was a problem. She hadn't even noticed that he was a shinigami at the beginning of the school year and she was wondering how she could have forgotten that he was her classmate if she had already met him. (Then again, Tsubasa would argue that Sakura was always that absentminded. She was admittedly guilty of forgetting who he was for years.) But red hair and even Rokudo's presence should have made an impression.

"Rika," Miho said sternly, her voice distant from Sakura's thoughts, "leave it alone."

"Oh but—"

"He's just a boy," Sakura shrugged, before chewing on some homemade riceballs. "Nothing more."

The ghosts continued to crowd around the school barrier, watching for any signs of her.

 _Lies_ , their moans seemed to say, _lies._

They were always watching her.

"Nonsense! He isn't just a boy, he's the hottest boy in school. Was the hottest boy in middle school too. You don't understand, Sakura-chan, he just has a way with the girls, always so polite and charming and modest. He's so dreamy," Rika babbled.

"There she goes again..." Miho sighed.

Quietly Sakura thought that the Rokudo in the classroom was a different person from the shinigami Rokudo. The fake smile on the school boy's face was far more disturbing the blankness from the shinigami.

"But I can't deny that he's attractive," Sakura heard Miho admit. "Guys like Rokudo don't go for the common girls though. He always has the rich ones after him. They give him his bentos and grant him personal favours all the time and he doesn't even go steady with any of them! I think he has a fan club too..."

"Who _wouldn't_ be his fan?"

"Not me," said Sakura, without thinking. Today's lunch was very tasty. Tonight she would make some more riceballs. Hopefully there wouldn't be any murderous child ghosts trying to kill her on the way to the store again.

"You're kidding," Rika's jaw dropped.

She was eating her third riceball. "I just think he's unsettling. That's all."

"Unsettling? What about him?"

Sakura was quiet.

"His smile... it's fake."

Rika froze when she heard the casual reply. But then she shook her head in mirth, "Oh I see, you think it's too good to be true. Well believe me, girl, every lady thinks that. But Rinne Rokudo has a killer smile, no girl can resist."

And so the topic continued but Sakura made no further attempt to speak of how much Rokudo unsettled her.

* * *

They made their way back to the classroom, taking the staircase. There was loud giggling echoing upwards, filling the passageway with high pitched voices. Sakura and Miho exchanged slightly disturbed glances while Rika exclaimed excitedly that it must have been Rokudo's entourage.

Indeed, when they arrived to the bottom of the steps, they saw a group of schoolgirls surrounding the tall redhead, trying to offer him packages of food and tickets to museums and fairs. It looked very crowded and a nightmare for any claustrophobic person, but Rokudo kept his bright smile in place. He was as charming as ever, smoothly saying compliments that weren't too personal and at the same time, weren't exclusive to anybody. He was welcoming and friendly.

But to Sakura, he looked slightly wary and distant.

Rokudo looked up then, meeting her gaze (and invoking an adoring squeal from Rika) before Sakura turned her head towards the hallway.

"We should get going," she said to Miho and Rika.

It was better to avoid him and feign ignorance to his popularity and disturbing smiles. If she let herself get involved because of her blasted (and ever persistent) sense of curiosity, then she would fall into another dangerous scheme again. And nothing good ever came from mixing up with a shinigami.

* * *

Having Rokudo sitting in the desk next to hers was unnerving. Not only was he surrounded by what seemed like an ocean of girls (even from the upper grades, it seemed that he could charm them off their feet with a few words and that stupid smile) but he had an annoying deadpan in his voice as he spoke to them. It wasn't as if his words were genuine, they seemed well-rehearsed and well-practised.

It grated on Sakura's nerves to hear his false tones ( _She hated liars, especially—_ ) and when class began, Sakura breathed out in relief.

But being class with him was even worse.

The hum of Rokudo's aura, now potent and obvious now that Sakura paid attention (she mentally cursed herself for having dropped her guard in this school with its lack of spirits). It was powerful, singing out loud in the whole classroom like the vibration of a spinning top. At times, when the teacher's voice grew too soft, with only the subtle etchings of chalk being pressed against the board, all Sakura could hear was that hum, reaching out to her very being.

It was like the time there was a screaming ghost in her third grade classroom. It had wailed and wailed but no one heard it except Sakura. No one believed her then either. They didn't even understand when Sakura began to scream (subconsciously, because she could always feel their pain) along with it. They couldn't see it. Sakura still remembered the dismayed expression on her father's face when he had learned of this from the school.

( _"You liar! Don't make up tales that aren't true!_ _ **Tell the truth!**_ )

Her empathy was always her greatest weakness.

By the time the bell rang for final dismissal. She saw Rokudo turn towards her and she thought _no, I will not talk to him_.

"See you tomorrow, Mamiya-san—"he was saying (for the sake appearance) with that smile again.

But Sakura had thrown her books in her bags and was walking away briskly, as if she hadn't heard him. When she reached the end of the hallway, she broke into a sprint, brushing past Rika and Miho with a quick goodbye before vanished out the doors.

Her friends exchanged bewildered looks before shrugging ("Sakura-chan is rather odd, isn't she? Oh well, that's what makes her so cool to be around!") She didn't even notice Rokudo following her figure from outside the window, a confused glint in his eyes.

* * *

It was that ghost again.

A young boy, young enough to pass for Sakura's younger brother. He had her eyes and her (as her mother often quoted) forlorn look. He was dressed in clothes two sizes too large for him, with the sleeves hanging down to his mismatched socks. His hair was scruffy, sticking out in spikes as he clung to a large fox plushie which hung off his arm.

And he always tugged at the pant legs of those passing by, making them trip or fall.

Every time someone fell, they blamed the person behind them and walked past the ghost without a thought.

The ghost would run after them, tugging on the pant leg again and ask, " _Are you my mother_?"

But they would never answer, because they couldn't see him and they would fall over when he tugged too hard on their pant legs.

The first time the ghost had asked this of Sakura, after making her slip into a muddy puddle, she had gone completely still, unable to turn from such big round eyes.

She almost said 'yes' because she couldn't bear the thought of such a young boy clinging desperately to the living because he couldn't find his mother.

But she shook her head and said, "No... but I'll help you find her."

The ghost's face brightened and he hugged her, calling her Onee-chan happily. His name was Hinata (a sunny place) and he waited for her a block away from the high school every day.

It was for him that Sakura was risking her gift being known to the dangerous ones, because she couldn't find his mother herself. It required her to ask other ghosts, other people. What Hinata remembered about his previous life was so little, so incoherent, that Sakura felt as if she was chasing after a balloon that had flown away into the sky. It was too vast for her to search, but she kept her eyes open.

Some nights she would spilt away from Hinata, divert the ghost's attentions from him (because spirits could hurt other spirits too) and divert it to herself.

Those were the nights she got injured and escaped near death.

It was tempting to exorcise the ghosts forcefully, but Sakura had learned that doing so only hurt them more and it hurt her consequently as well.

Some nights Hinata lashed out at her, hitting her chest and asking, " _Why can't you find my mother? Why? Why? You promised!"_

And Sakura could feel his aura fluctuating on borderline... so close to becoming evil and corrupted.

Her heart would twist and she would think.

 _I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm trying to help you... but it's not enough, is it?_

* * *

The week went by. Sakura continued her routine, running away from spirits and harming them with holy water on the way to and from school. She would nurse her injuries at night with her personal first air kit while trying to keep up with her studies. She would eat lunch with Rika and Miho, keeping distant because she didn't want to get them indirectly involved. She would rush everywhere, keeping a paranoid eye out for every figure she met, wishing she didn't have to go through this every day.

And she ignored Rokudo, only returning his morning greeting and goodbyes politely, without looking him in the eye. He irritated her, the way he flashed his teeth at girls and oozed charm purposefully. He never tried to get involved romantically with any of the females that associated him, Sakura could respect that much about him, but he was distant, in a way she felt she could understand. What she couldn't tolerate was how he kept that smile in place, when it didn't suit him at all.

Like a liar's smile.

Like a ghost's devious smile.

She shivered and continued on her way.

* * *

But then that evening, she witnessed something about him that changed her perspective on Rokudo forever.

It was Thursday. On that day, she told Hinata she had to do errands and would return after she made supper for her mother.

She saw him by the river. She had been hiding from a group of ghostly thugs, who loved to terrorize her when she tried to get groceries. They had done the same to many female customers, but since they couldn't do much except dump fruit and throw objects at the human girls before they got bored, they figured out that Sakura could see them.

Her walks were more dangerous now and Sakura could only hear the hammering of her heart in her ears and in her head as she clung to the tree branch she had laid refuge on.

The ghosts came closer, searching for her figure. In this case, she had no choice but to exorcise them. It was all or nothing. Her life or their continued ghostly existence. She tensed, keeping herself well hidden and having a vial of holy water ready to dump on them.

Then there was a glitter of a blade and a quick swipe. The ghosts scattered, yelling in horror as one of their own was turned into pure ethereal light at the touch of the scythe's blade.

There was Rinne Rokudo, floating in mid-air with his unusual haori on and a bored, yet irritated gaze.

"More troublesome ghosts," he murmured with a sigh. "Well then..."

He flew after them, cutting spirit after spirit, and invoking light after light. The spirits screamed, tried to hide among the buildings but Rokudo phased through the walls after them and, Sakura assumed, purified those spirits as well.

His stance was of a practised meticulousness and told of reluctance as he cut more of the spirits, until there was only one left and the leader of the ghostly thugs was kneeling on the ground, begging forgiveness.

"Please spare me, shinigami-sama. I don't want to pass on. I never asked to be a ghost, I promise I won't trouble any more girls again, I promise, so please—"

The blade sliced true, right from the center of the ghost's head to his feet, a look of shock permanently etched upon the ghost's face. And in that moment, Sakura recognized that this terrifying ghost had been a person once, a foolish, foolish and stupid person... but a person nonetheless.

 _Just like Yota-kun, just like Dad..._ and so many of the other normal spirits Sakura encountered, Hinata only one of them.

As the light enveloped the air, rising up to the clouds like bubbles, Rinne Rokudo looked onwards with a melancholy gaze.

"Just as you never asked to be a spirit...," his voice darkened, "I _never_ asked to be an accursed _shinigami_." He paused and raised the scythe. "But _someone_ has to help you. No one else will bother."

And in that moment, Sakura felt that, for the first time, in all of her frustrations in dealing with ghosts, wishing that she could take away their problems and send them to the afterlife in peace, wishing that their souls weren't tied to the earth out of empathy for them and at the same time, resenting them for making her life _not right_ , she had finally encountered someone who _understood_.

Long after Rokudo had flown away, Sakura remained in that tree, whispering the words in her head.

 _Someone has to hel_ _p you, no one else will bother._


	3. Salesmen Words

The next morning had Sakura racing down the sidewalk again. The multitude of ghosts, as if sensing a disturbance, flocked around her and followed. Their wails and cries filled Sakura's ears. There were requests to find long-lost relatives or questions if she could truly _see_. Some spirits mourned lost chances towards their dreams or careers. Others wanted one last message to be delivered to someone that they loved. Sakura wasn't sure which spirit wanted what. They all seemed to blend together in a brush of gray and white.

She didn't often rush to school unless she was being chased by one of _them,_ the ghosts that had lost their humanity and were tied to the earth only by their malevolent feelings. But today she was late. Her alarm clock had rang for half an hour before Sakura had awoken and only because her mother had finally noticed that her daughter hadn't come to breakfast yet. Sakura had thrown on her uniform, grabbed her bag and rushed out without anything to eat for breakfast.

Even now her stomach grumbled in protest. At least she had had the foresight to make her lunch the night before and set it in the fridge or she would have forgotten about that as well. Sakura quirked her lips upwards. In hindsight, her tardiness was to be expected. She hadn't been able to sleep at all the night before because she was thinking about the latest encounter with Rinne Rokudo. She had been wondering all night what the shinigami had meant by his words, had come to the realization that perhaps he wasn't as bad as she had initially thought.

The ghosts were waving their hands in front of her, hoping for some slip, some sign that Sakura could _see_ them and wasn't just a school girl rushing to class.

Sakura kept her expression blank, with only a tinge of anxiousness to hint at how desperate she was to arrive at the school on time. She would not let her mask crack.

There was one spirit that was trailing after her footsteps who particularly made her nervous. Half of his face was eaten by decay, revealing veined flesh where his cheek was. His right eyeball was exposed, rolling back and forth. Sakura could see burn marks all over the spirit's hands and legs; as if the fire had eaten half of his body before spitting him back out again. There was a heavy stench around him, of burnt flesh and paper. He wore the school uniform of her high school and though Sakura knew that he wasn't an evil spirit yet, she could feel the negative feelings within this ghost building as the moments went by.

In her mind, Sakura dubbed the ghost 'Ash.'

He had been following her to and from school since she and her mother had moved back to Tokyo. At first Sakura hadn't paid him too much attention, marking him on her mental list of ghosts to stay away from. He had had an aura which wavered between human sorrow and pure anger. Sakura hadn't wanted to make his negative emotions any more potent with careless actions and so chose to give him a wide berth.

Now it seemed that the darkness in Ash had grown anyways.

He was moving closer. The Goosebumps underneath her sleeves rose when Sakura felt his ghostly breath against her neck... as if he was trying to breathe her essence into himself.

Sakura kept her fingers near the yo-yo in her hands, in case she needed to defend herself again. Her body tingling with the urge to run away but her mind shouting at her to exorcise him (as Tsubasa would tell her) so that he wouldn't become a threat in the future. But her heart told her to wait, wait and see. Perhaps he wasn't an evil spirit yet... perhaps he was just curious to see if she had the sight...

From the corner of her eye Sakura saw Ash's hands move upwards, slowly, towards her neck...

Her heart pounded in her ears while her mind and body yelled at her heart to act instead of waiting as always...

She made a sharp turn left and collided into another body.

Sakura only just stopped herself from falling back and, upon closer investigation, saw that she had just knocked over a poor lady.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Sakura bent down to take the arm of the woman. The ghosts around them fluttered in curiosity, all eyes intent on Sakura alone. She kept her attention fixed on the woman in the kimono. "I should have been more careful. I hope you can forgive me, Miss."

The lady in the kimono hid her amusement behind her purple silk sleeve. "Ah, it's no trouble. We all have our clumsy days... wait..." Her eyes narrowed, "What did you call me before?"

Confused, Sakura repeated, "I called you 'Miss.' Is that alright?" She would hate to be rude to such a pretty young lady. Sakura very much liked the red flowers tied as a pin at the side of the woman's silver bangs. She had very short hair too, past her ears. It made her appear quite elegant. Something about the woman seemed very familiar...

The lady's eyes lit up, "Oh yes! Quite alright, dear! You are such a sweetheart! Apology accepted, no harm done." She brushed off the dust from her obi and gown. Then her eyes narrowed, looking at the air around Sakura. "Hm... where are you headed, dear? To that school?" The lady inclined her head towards the gates of Sakura's high school, which was only one more block away. The familiar barrier, shining blue and pink hues this morning, surrounded the school's property in a dome.

"Oh, yes, I am," she nodded.

The ghosts were still wailing. Now some of them were tugging at Sakura's arms and braids, hoping to get her attention. She could feel Ash breathing (if ghosts could still properly _breathe_ ) against her neck. Sakura made sure her smile was fixed in place.

"What a coincidence," the lady clapped her hands together. "I happen to be heading that way myself"-Sakura frowned and did not mention that it seemed that the lady had been moving _away_ from the school before they walked into one another-"why don't I escort you to the gates?"

"Er..."

She wasn't sure how to politely decline such a request, particularly when Sakura felt it was her fault for nearly hurting the other woman. She could sense that the woman was not a spirit, just someone of living flesh. But that didn't always guarantee her safety. She had had very close run-ins with demons and other creatures before. Shinigami and damashigami very often felt almost the same as human beings in their auras. Sakura hadn't been around many to properly differentiate between the three. She tried to avoid both as much as possible. But it was only one block and Sakura was sure she could defend herself should the need arise.

"Alright. Just to the school."

"Perfect," the woman beamed, "My name is Tamako."

Sakura frowned again. That name sounded familiar but she was sure she had not met anyone by that name before...

"I'm Sakura," she returned.

They moved down the block quickly enough with light conversation about Sakura's subjects and how she was finding Tokyo. Behind them the ghosts continued to flock around Sakura, though they avoided Tamako with a strange nervousness, whispering cautiously. (Sakura noted this and observed Tamako quietly for any suspicious behaviour). By the time they reached the school gates, Sakura moved the conversation towards Tamako, asking what the woman did for a living.

"Oh," Tamako answered with a sly look. "I have two main jobs which keep me _very_ busy, all night and day."

"I see," Sakura hovered at the gates, unsure what to say next.

"Well, go off now. It will be safe in the school, dear. I expect we'll be seeing more of each other," Tamako nodded, before she turned to walk away.

For several moments, Sakura stood there thoughtfully, wondering what exactly Tamako was. But then she heard the bell ring behind her and raced towards the building for her first lesson.

Neither Tamako nor Sakura had noticed the tiniest of cracks in the barrier, just hovering above the gate. Within the school, eyes gleamed in an orange hue. Just outside of the barrier, still hovering where Sakura had left the road and entered through the school's barrier, was Ash, his eyes gleaming in return.

* * *

Higurashi-sensei was very understanding. "It's quite alright, Mamiya-san. Everyone has their off days. Just don't let it happen again and I won't count this on your attendance, since it is your first tardiness this year. Try not to make this a bad habit. Now I believe we have some more Trigonometry to learn this morning."

Sakura let out the breath she was holding and nodded gratefully to her teacher. She walked to her desk, making eye contact with Rika and Miho who were both wearing equally relieved expressions.

' _We thought you were ill again, Sakura-chan,'_ Rika mouthed. ' _Glad that's not the case!'_

She smiled and shook her head slightly, ' _Just late. Sorry for worrying you,'_ She mouthed back.  
 _  
_When she sat down, she noticed that Rokudo was absent. His desk was vacant, save for the notebook laid open and the pen lying diagonal to the criss-crossed lines on the page. The last few words of the notes on the board were copied until the last line, where it seemed that the writing had stopped.

 _He must be in the bathroom,_ Sakura thought. (Or exorcising ghosts, another part of her whispered.)

Sure enough, Rokudo entered through the doors, panting lightly. There was sweat on his brow and his uniform looked dishevelled. His hair was messier than usual and his eyes were darting around, as if he expected someone to jump up and shout 'shinigami!' at him. No sooner had Sakura spotted this slip in the facade did Rinne smooth his features back into the immaculate and fake smile as before. Now there stood the false Rinne Rokudo, a charmer of all female students instead of the more familiar shinigami from before.

He went to his desk quietly, so as to not interrupt Higurashi-sensei's lecture. When he spotted Sakura, he said his customary greeting with that same bright (and disturbing) smile. "Good morning, Mamiya-san."

Sakura fought the urge to throw holy water on him, if only to make that fake air of happiness disappear. But then she remembered his words from the evening before ("Just as you never asked to be a spirit... I _never_ asked to be an accursed _shinigami._ ") and sadness came over her.

He's just like me, she thought. _He doesn't want this fate either._ She didn't know his reasons for acting so opposite to his nature and charming most of the female populace but she wouldn't judge until she knew the whole story nor would she seek to grow closer to him. He was still a shinigami. It was best to keep pretending she didn't know his secret.

She smiled, "Good morning, Rokudo-kun. It's a nice day, isn't it?"

Her brightness towards him was surprising. She could tell by the slight widening of his eyes. But Rokudo hid that again, strengthening his irritating smile. "Yes, it is."

He sat down and they did not talk to each other again for the rest of the period.

* * *

There were several text messages from Tsubasa waiting on her cell phone when she checked it just as the teacher ended the lesson for lunch. Rika and Miho were calling her over but Sakura told them that she needed to answer her friend. She stayed in the classroom, where she noticed that Rokudo was sitting there quietly at his desk, eating from a decorated bento box. She suspected that it was from one of his admirers but saw none of them flocking around him as was the norm.

Many paranoid thoughts raced through her head instinctively as explanations for this behaviour, but Sakura pushed them away. She had promised herself not to judge Rokudo solely because he was a shinigami. Perhaps he just wanted to be alone for the moment. She knew the feeling.

Sakura caught his eye just as she opened her inbox. His expression was torn between sombre (much more familiar and much more... more like _himself)_ and content from the taste of the food. Rokudo gulped down the rest of his tamoyaki, looking embarrassed to have been caught with an expression outside his charming persona. Sakura only smiled at him and pretended that she had been looking intently at her messages the whole time.

She tuned out the rest of her surroundings and ignored Rokudo's curious gaze. Tsubasa's messages were long and panicked as usual.

 _(9:50 am) Tsubasa Jumonji:_

 _I read your message, Mamiya-san. I emailed you all the information I could about any missing boys named Hinata. There are about three different cases around your area. I made sure to send all family profiles and circumstances surrounding the disappearances and/or deaths that I could find. Stay safe._

There were a few more text boxes, rather lengthy ones, following within seconds of the other.

 _(9:53 am) Tsubasa Jumonji:_

 _What are you up to, Mamiya-san? I hope you're not trying to rescue some 'poor soul' again. You'll be putting yourself in danger! I absolutely forbid it! Do you want me to come back to Tokyo and help out? I can get there within a day, just give me a call. Take care of yourself._

 _(10:04 am) Tsubasa Jumonji:_

 _I know you have class right now, just give me a call at your next break. Tell me EVERYTHING about this spirit, and I mean EVERYTHING. Don't do anything that could put you in danger! Worried about you._

 _(11:30 am) Tsubasa Jumonji:_

 _Alright, I'm not sure when your next break is but you must have had one by now. Call me, Mamiya-san. I'm urgently waiting. Stay safe._

 _(11:45 am) Tsubasa Jumonji:_

 _Is it your break yet? Speaking of which, I should ask this now because more trouble always seems to follow you even if you insist there is only one ghost problem now. Have the spirits been bugging you? Is your school still well protected? You haven't run into any more suspicious figures have you? Call me at your next break. Stay safe._

 _(12:05 am) Tsubasa Jumonji:_

 _It's lunch time now. Why aren't you calling yet? That's it. I'm going to ask my dad to let me go to Tokyo for a visit! You owe me an explanation, Mamiya-san!_

Sakura fought back the bubble of amusement inside her. Tsubasa was always overreacting when it came to her and spirits. He had never really grown out of it and Sakura wasn't sure why he worried so much when it came to her. She was just as capable at dealing with the dead as he was. She supposed that it was just one of the exorcist's many quirks.

She flipped open her phone. It was one of the older models that still flipped open and only had a number pad to type into. She preferred them to the newer phones (the ones with touch screens and game applications and so on) as they gave her a sense of nostalgia. It was light pink with a cell phone strap of a black cat hanging from it. Her mother had given it to her as a birthday present a few years back.

Tsubasa's number was one of the few she had on speed dial. It took two rings but the exorcist picked up as soon as she called.

" _Mamiya-san!"_ He exclaimed, happy to hear from her on the other end of the line.

"How are you, Tsubasa-kun?" She smiled (though he couldn't see it).

" _Fine, fine. More importantly, you have some things to explain..."_

"Hinata is just an ordinary... boy," Sakura said, aware that Rokudo seemed to be eavesdropping. It was the way that his shoulders seemed to tense slightly and his chopsticks paused just before his lips. She turned her head towards the window. "I'm fine. I just want to help him out."

Tsubasa, seeming to understand that Sakura couldn't say much on her end, said, " _Are you sure? Because I can come by, say I'm visiting the city.._."

"I'm sure."

" _..But it's dangerous. We don't know anything about this boy... anything could happen... like with Kain or with Yota. Let me come by. If you don't protect yourself properly—"_

"What? As you tried to?" Sakura felt her voice rise higher than usual. She struggled to control the irrational anger that rose within her. Memories rushed into her head— _her father's spirit, Yota-kun with that insane smile, Kain hunting, Tsubasa mercilessly destroying the souls of, of—_ and she shook them away. "No," she kept her voice neutral, "Last time you were here, things did not go well."

It still haunted her in her dreams, so much that sometimes Sakura wondered why she was still in contact with the exorcist. His methods were cruel and he didn't even seem to realize how much it hurt her. (That, of course, was unfair to say. Tsubasa stayed away from her _because_ he knew that she disapproved of his methods. He was a good person for the most part.)

There was shuffling on the other end. Sakura had a feeling that Tsubasa had almost dropped his phone and was struggling to get it straightened against his ear.

"I was trying to protect you," he said with a strain in his voice. He paused. "I still am."

Sakura felt her heart tightened and she smiled again.

"Tsubasa-kun, I can take care of myself," she said calmly. "Please, just let me do this."

" _Mamiya-san—"_

"Trust me."

He was silent. Then there was a sigh. " _I can never win, can I? Alright, but stay in touch. If you don't keep me updating on the situation, I'm grabbing the next train to Tokyo and I'm hunting that boy down."_

"Alright, thank you so much, Tsubasa-kun. Don't worry about me, I'll be alright. Talk to you soon then," she agreed and she closed her phone shut before she could hear another one of Tsubasa's legendary goodbyes (which often included flowery and butchered lines of poetry).

She heard the scraping of a chair being pushed back beside her and saw Rokudo still looking at her intently. His bento box was three quarters done, some vegetables and rice still left around the corners.

"Is everything ok, Mamiya-san?" He asked politely. "I don't mean to pry but you sounded a bit distressed during your phone call. There isn't any trouble, is there?"

He said this in the same tone he used to speak to every other female in the school, one that had false sweetness and cheer when it was clear to Sakura that he would rather be left alone.

"It's nothing," Sakura said quickly, moving to grab her bag. Perhaps now would be a good time to meet up with Rika and Miho at the roof for lunch. There was still twenty or so minutes left of their break. "Just a friend."

When she peered up at him, she expected that same smile to be in place. But instead she saw his lips lower slightly into a frown. For a moment Rokudo was that melancholy shinigami again and she found that she preferred this Rokudo to the one she had to see at school everyday.

It occurred to her that her reply had been brisk and a bit rude. For those who did not know her very well, her manner could appear this way because of the careless way that Sakura spoke her mind without thinking of the consequences.

"Ah, I didn't mean to be so brusque before, at the beginning of the school year until now, I mean," she stood in front of his desk, hoping that her expression was apologetic enough. "I'm sorry about that; sometimes I don't pay attention to how I act. I hope we can be good…" She searched for words that would be appropriate, "classmates."

Rokudo blinked at her, caught off guard from her directness. It was refreshing to see that he was capable of emotions other than false happiness and dark brooding.

"I… Did I do something to offend you during the first month of school, Mamiya-san?" His smile had returned but there was curiosity in his eyes.

Sakura opened her mouth to lie, to say that she had been going through a difficult time at home or something. But instead the truth slipped out.

"Your smile."

Rokudo appeared slightly bewildered. "I'm sorry?"

Sakura hesitated for a moment but decided that she might as well tell him the truth. "It's fake," she explained, "and it disturbs me."

The false and charming persona dropped automatically, as if a curtain had been toppled over to reveal the bare stage for what it was.

He frowned at her. "You can tell. How?"

But Sakura could guess what other thoughts were racing in his head. _Does she know about me being a shinigami? Do I have to erase her memories? I have to find out or everything will be in jeopardy._ She felt panicked and realized that her empathy was tuning into Rokudo's aura, something she hadn't known it could do. The paranoia and tense fear in his aura was something Sakura was familiar with, as she hid her ability to _see_ from the spirits every day.

 _He's a shinigami,_ her rational mind yelled at her. _But he's as human in his emotions as anyone else,_ her empathy, her heart, said.

"I just have the feeling sometimes… that you don't really like the attention," Sakura decided to say. She smiled sadly at him, "and I don't know why."

Rokudo did not reply, his brow scrunched in thought.

"Don't worry," she could sense his distress practically screaming in her ears. Sakura would need to ask Tsubasa if he knew anything about emphatic abilities building around shinigami because she couldn't remember this happening with Kain before. "I won't tell anyone."

"What?" He stood up, a head taller than her, "I don't understand… why wouldn't you…? I mean…"

The level of distrust and fear from Rokudo made her feel sad. Had he never had anyone to trust before? Sakura had misjudged him. Two months ago, it would never have occurred to her that shinigami could have their problems too. She had always been content to see them as figures she could not trust.

"It must be hard for you…pretending," She found herself saying, recalling her own bitter memories of lying to her classmates about the things she could see. "I'm sure you have your reasons for it and so I won't tell anyone, as long as you're not planning to take advantage of them."

Sakura nodded at him politely and turned to leave the classroom.

"Wait!" Rokudo was halfway across the room but had stopped, as if he were hovering on the edge of doing something reckless and pulling away. "I... Thank you."

Sakura only smiled and went out of the classroom.

Down the hallway, unknown to the two students, a pale figure's reflection flickered against the windows, eyes flashing orange...

* * *

Later that night after speaking with Hinata and playing a few games of hide and seek with the little spirit, Sakura informed him that she had a lead on possible suspects for his mother. She told him that she needed to check her email for the documents at home first before she could show him any pictures to see if he remembered any of the women. If not, they would go to each suspect's house and see if they could discern who was most likely to be his mother.

Hinata had been so overjoyed that when he jumped into the air, he caught Sakura off guard and spun her around in a circle. Sakura still felt slightly high from his euphoric emotions as she stumbled back home, past the park, promising to meet up with Hinata the next evening.

Ghosts trailed after Sakura, poking at her arms and making jokes at her stumbling walk. Sakura ignored them.

There was the small of burnt flesh again. It had been growing stronger every day, another sign that the ghost she'd named Ash was becoming more and more bottled with negative emotions as the days passed.

Sakura was beginning to worry. She wondered if she should reveal her abilities to Ash and try to put him to rest with words. Sometimes this worked, but other times, it merely agitated the ghost (or ghosts) and made them more vicious.

There.

From the corner of her eye, she saw that Ash was moving faster, pushing the unfortunate spirits of a fisherman and a baker aside to the ground so that he was standing directly behind her neck. She caught glimpses of the charred bits of skin and raw flesh on his cheek. Sakura could tell that they were burn marks... almost as if he had been dipped into acid. She wondered if this was a recent death and when it had happened...

He was breathing against her neck.

Sakura's feet continued like clockwork, turning left at the next block, moving towards the residence area. High white fences and houses with red and black roofs greeted them.

" _You..."_

Sakura's fingers slowly twitched to the yo-yo, the other hand to the holy water.

"... _You smell nice..."_

She nearly stopped in her tracks at the sound of Ash's voice. Of all things she had expected to hear, this was not it. Enamoured ghosts were particularly tricky to send away, not all of them could be easily rejected with a simple 'no.' The knowledge that she may have no choice but to exorcise the ghost with force weighed heavily upon her. She could practically feel the yearning in Ash for another girl... one that looked like her...

His fingers brushed against her arm, rushing through her corporal body like water. Sakura suppressed her shiver and—

There was a scream.

Sakura looked up and saw one of the girls from her school (one she recognized as one of Rokudo's admirers) rushing down the street, petrified.

"What's wrong? Are you alright?" Sakura stopped her.

"No, no, just run, there's a... that filthy _thing_! It's come back to haunt me, make it _go away!_ " The girl screamed before she burst into tears and clung to Sakura tightly.

Uncomfortable and unsure of what to do, Sakura rubbed circles on the girl's back, trying to calm her down. "What's after you?"—Was it a ghost? Ash was still hovering around Sakura's neck, breathing her in. She really needed to do something about him. But first the girl—"Just take deep breaths and tell me everything you know."

"N-no... it's coming... I left it out in a box because no one wanted it anymore..." The girl trembled, "I didn't know it would come back... I didn't know that it would try and... and..."

"Try and what?" Sakura asked urgently. Ash blew in her ear, muttering about her scent. "Tell me."

"Try and..."

There was a crash, Sakura looked up.

"...and ... _eat me."_

There she saw it. Stampeding down the street with powerful rumbles was the biggest Chihuahua she had ever seen. Its head was bigger than its body and its wide eyes were veined with blood vessels. Saliva fell from its lips, making its teeth glisten in silver against the sun. But it was not alone. It seemed that there were dark shadowy figures of what once had been human beings (or spirits) crawling against the dog, merging with it. It had become a combination of several negative spirits, gathering until its hate was fixated onto its former owner to the point where the poor girl could now see the dog's spirit...

But worse than that, Sakura felt her strength leave her as she slumped against the other girl. The amount of hatred gathered around the dog was greater than Sakura was used to, like a sun compared to a small firefly's light.

All of the other ghosts that had been with her had run away, afraid to be swallowed by the dog's aura. Even Ash had left, leaving one lingering breath by her throat.

The dog pounced upon them. The girl shrieked and abandoned Sakura, who was slumped against the sidewalk, in favour for ducking behind the next corner.

Sakura hissed out and whipped out her yo-yo, its blades expanding as it sliced the dog's chest. The chihuahua flew backwards, howling in pain. Smoke fizzed from its wound and many of the dark shadowy figures crawling on its body were sliced in half only to wiggle back together again as if they had never been broken.

The dog fixed its bloody glare at her and growled. Then it rushed towards her.

Sakura spun out her yo-yo again, making two more quick slashes, this time at the dog's two front paws so that it would be hindered in its ability to run. She heard a whimper and a thump, saw the dog attempt to lick its paws before she forced herself to get back up on her feet and run.

She felt like she was running under layers of heavy concrete. The dog's aura was thick and difficult to fight against. But Sakura bit her tongue, letting the pain snap her senses awake.

She found the girl hiding behind a trash can and pulled at her arm. "Come on, you need to run to a safe place. Get back to the school."

The girl's eyes were wide, "The school? But it'll just catch me there—"

"Get to the school," Sakura repeated again and though her voice was calm, there was a hard edge to it which the girl could not argue against. "I will distract it. Stay at the school until I finish dealing with this spirit and don't leave until I come back."

"But what if you don't come back?"

"Then stay till morning... and... and find Rinne Rokudo from my class. Tell him everything that happened, don't leave anything out. He'll know what to do."

"Rinne-kun?" The girl gaped at her. "But... I can't... he'll think I'm weird or..."

" _Go!"_

The dog was back, mouth open and teeth eager to meet them. Before its jaws could snap over their heads, Sakura pushed the girl to the ground, covering her with her body. They both grunted in pain and when they could stand again, Sakura yelled, "Go!"

The girl didn't need to be told twice. She scurried towards the direction of the school, where she'd be safe behind the barrier.

The dog tried to follow, but Sakura had flipped herself up (thankful she had taken gymnastics class in whatever town she and her mother had moved to, it was useful to know for times like these) so that she landed on the chihuahua's neck, amidst the other shadows.

Instantly, the chihuahua began to buck upwards like a wild horse, refusing to be tamed. Sakura held on with her legs, quickly pulling out one of her daggers as her yo-yo was swung like a lasso so that it looped around the dog spirit's neck.

Many of the dark shadows on the dog's body were bristling. They furled around Sakura, pulled at her arms. Negative spirits could touch physical objects and affect the environment around them, depending on how strong they were. These ones left stinging marks against her arms that she knew would become bruises. Their faceless heads and murky fingerprints hurt at the touch.

Sakura struggled against them, trying to press the dagger down towards the dog's neck, but the shadowy figures held her back... whispered to her images and flashes of hatred which made her eyes sting...

She slammed down her arms in a fit, forcing all her strength into one sharp attack. The dagger's silver hilt seemed to gleam with dark amusement as it dug into the dog spirit's neck, releasing hot smoke and fire. Sakura fell back, off of the dog's back as it howled in pain.

She too very nearly howled, feeling its pain echoing into her body as if she had been the one stabbed as well. The empathy was amplified by the presence of the dark shadows.

They were fluttering around the dog's body, like slugs crawling up in a spiral towards the dog's neck. They formed into a shapeless blob against the wound, throwing Sakura's dagger back at her. She barely dodged it, rolling to the side and then standing warily to her feet again.

The shadows seemed to hum towards the chihuahua that was breathing heavily and staring at her with such sharp hatred...

Sakura made the mistake of staring directly into its eyes.

Images flashed into her minds, as they always did when she looked directly at a spirit's gaze. Images of the past.

( _Waiting, waiting, waiting, eagerly for the owner, a nice girl, a nice owner who fed him and played with him. Happy. Content. Wanting to please owner with tricks. The girl laughs and says, "I love you, Inu-san! Stay with me forever.")_

 _(Sometimes owner forgets to feed him and her mother reminds her. Owner grumbles that she doesn't feel like it but she feeds him anyways. So she must be joking, she doesn't really mean it... she loves him...)_

 _(Now its cold. Been so long. Owner doesn't play anymore. Owner forgets to feed him. It's lonely, so lonely. When he tries to lick owner's toes she shrieks and tells him to go—"Disgusting dog, I don't need one anymore, I'm old enough now. He's always making a mess in my shoes and eating my clothes..."—it hurts, why does it hurt?)_

 _(He's so hungry._

 _So lonely and hungry.)_

 _(Then one day. Owner comes to see him in his lone dog house. He perks up. It's been so long. Maybe she wants to play again. Maybe he had been forgiven. Maybe she will love him again._

 _But instead she tells him to get in a box and she walks him into one of the metal creatures and drives far. She dumps the box, dumps him, on the ground near an alley and she leaves him, even when he whines against her, even when he tries to lick her fingers again..._

" _I don't need you anymore," she says, "Someone else can have you..."_

 _He yowls in complete and utter despair...)_

 _(It's so cold. Cold is worse than hungry and lonely, because it feels like both at once... he's so tired... he wants owner... owner...)_

 _(Then a voice, several voices, just as sad and hateful as him... gathering around him, whispering, "Make her pay... make her join you in sleep too... then you can be together forever..."_

 _Yes, he thinks, together forever._

 _And he surrenders to the litany of voices.)_

Sakura snapped out of the influx of memories, tears streaming down her face.

"Oh my god..." she breathed. "You poor dog..."

But the chihuahua was too consumed in rage to hear her or understand her. It was angry at the world, intent on bringing its owner and whoever stood in his way to destruction.

It charged towards her.

"No! Wait! Stop!" Sakura shouted. She flicked her yo-yo upwards again, slashing at the chihuahua's nose, wincing as it whimpered against the attack.

But then the shadows leapt up from the chihuahua's back and tackled Sakura, gathering around her arms and legs to hold them in place.

Sakura cried out and struggled against them. She began chanting some incantations Tsubasa had taught her, hoping they'd weaken the spirits but they did not budge.

 _Do something, Sakura!_ Her mind shouted at her, _Exorcise the dog, kill the source for good! Don't hesitate!_

"No," she whispered, voice shaking, "I can't... I can't do that." Not when she had just lived through the chihuahua's life, not when she understood its pain now.

 _Why are you doing this, Mamiya-san?_ She could picture Tsubasa speaking in her head. _Don't you remember what happened to your father when Kain got involved? Didn't you learn your lesson? You can't save them all. They aren't meant to be saved. Spirits are damned. You know this._

The chihuahua advanced towards her, licking its lips and opening its mouth. She could see into its throat, could smell how disgusting and dreaded its stomach would be.

Still, she did not try and reach her yo-yo to activate it's other blades, the lethal ones which could extend once she pressed one button. The death blades that Tsubasa obtained and attached to her yo-yo, blades that could extinguish a spirit's soul...

"Please...," Sakura let her heart spill from her mouth. "Inu-san... Stop this, you don't want this."

 _Stop it, what are you doing, Mamiya-san?_ Tsubasa would yell if he were present. _Are you trying to get yourself killed again? This doesn't always work!_

She hadn't done this, tried this, since Kain. She'd been too afraid to, after what happened to her father and grandmother.

But something had changed.

( _Just as you never asked to be a spirit... I_ never _asked to be an accursed_ shinigami _. But someone has to help you, no one else will bother.)_

Sakura stared straight into the dog's eyes, just before they disappeared behind the image of his teeth and then... she forced all of her emotions, all of her soul _into the dog's essence._

Suddenly she wasn't a mere human anymore, limited by mortal flesh. Now she was like air, part of the essence of the earth, fluid and free. She rushed into the dog's soul; saw it as a raging mass of dark shadows smothering tiny light.

Then she touched it gently and whispered, "I'm here..."

The shadows bristled and twisted, trying to grasp her soul. She fluttered between them, ducking between and around shadowy grips (remembering the last time this happened, she'd been struck... and she hadn't been able to save _them_ but this wasn't like back then. She was different now).

The little light pulsed stronger until Sakura could see the light shape into the ears of the dog... She could hear its anxiousness resonate within her.

"Let's go home now, Inu-san," she said gently, watching the light grow with her words. The shadows were trying harder to grasp at her. "You can rest now. It won't be cold anymore, you won't be lonely or hungry again."

The dog's soul was quivering in the blanket of shadows and peered at her.

 _I'm tired,_ it seemed to say.

"I know," she said, "but it will be over soon," She gulped and fought back the emotions in her chest. "You can rest now. You won't be alone anymore, I promise. Come back with me."

The dog was hesitant... and then it forced itself free of the shadows and ran into her arms.

* * *

Sakura awoke, feeling bruised and battered, but satisfied when she saw the limp form of the dog in her arms.

He was cold and limp now, having been dead for a long time.

"Mamiya-san!" The panicked voice caught her in surprise. Sakura turned to see Rokudo running towards her. He was wearing an odd track suit, black with white lines running down on the sleeves and side of the pants. His school bag was slipping from his shoulder.

"Rokudo," She blinked.

When he reached her, he grasped her shoulders and looked her up and down, "My god... Where is it? What happened? You need to get medical attention..."

"I'm fine," Sakura said calmly. "The dog is gone now."

Rokudo seemed confused, "The dog is what? But Himekawa-san said that it was a rabid monster... chasing her... I left her at the school because it was... safer." His lie came out so fluidly that Sakura almost didn't catch it. She knew very well that the girl, Himekawa, would have told Rokudo everything out of fear for herself.

"Yes... a rabid dog only... but he's gone now," she indicated to her arms.

He looked down and his face went blank. "Oh," His tone was regretful. "Oh dear... it really was a rabid dog," He sounded surprised and then he was panicked again, "It didn't bite you, did it?"

"Oh, well..." She couldn't explain the injuries any other way. "I... no... but it did chase me and I tripped..." She wondered how she would explain the bruises.

"Then we should get you to a clinic," Rokudo steered her by the shoulders. He stared at the dog's body, "About that..."

"We should bury him first," Sakura found herself saying. "He needs to rest in peace."

Rokudo stopped, staring at her in the same way he had when he had thanked her earlier that day, as if he had awoken and was truly looking at her for the first (and now second) time.

"You... yes, of course we should bury him... but your injuries..."

"I will be fine. I want to put him to rest first. I have a feeling that he's been very tired for a long time," Sakura confided.

Rokudo studied her for a few minutes before he nodded, "Yes, he has been tired... come on, I know a place..."

* * *

He brought her to the outskirts of the city. Sakura's feet had blisters in them from walking so long. They hadn't taken the train because the smell of the dog's body was sure to draw attention. They hadn't spoken to each other and Sakura was surprised at how comfortable the silence was.

Rokudo's face was blank, as if he was in permanent deep thought. His movements were stiff and formal, like he wasn't sure how to interact with her. Sakura supposed, with the usual type of girls he dealt with that adored him without reason, he didn't know how.

They arrived at a stretch of grassy field by the highway where there were a few stick markers and mounds.

Sakura looked at him questionably.

"I bury other animals here, when I find them," Rokudo confessed stiffly. "We can bury Himekawa-san's dog here."

The open admission made Sakura smile brightly. She didn't know why, but she felt that this suited Rokudo very much, to care about the proper burials of the dead he encountered. She had a feeling that the animals buried here were once ghosts he had encountered and it made her happy to know she wasn't alone in that feeling.

"It's perfect. Then I'll get to work."

Rokudo's shoulders, tense before, relaxed. He had that look again, incredulous and bewildered. He nodded and ran to fetch the shovels from a box near the mounds.

"I'll help to," he said, surprising her as he began to join her in digging in the earth.

They fell into a synchronized rhythm, working together without a word. By the time they finished, it was late and each was covered from foot to toe in smudged dirt but Sakura didn't care. She let out a breath of relief and bowed her head before the dog's grave. She had chosen a tall abandoned stick as the marker, hoping that the dog would like it.

"I hope you are happier wherever you are," Sakura whispered. "I pray that Himekawa-sempai learns from her mistake."

When she looked up, she saw that Rinne had his head bowed in prayer as well. A few minutes passed by before he met her eyes again.

"Thank you," Sakura said. "For helping me bury him and..."

 _And for your words the other day._ But she couldn't tell him that or he would know that she had seen him.

Rokudo shook his head, "No... No, I should be thanking you actually..." He stared down at the bruises and cuts on Sakura's legs. "We should really get those cuts cleaned... sit down, I have a medical kit..."

"So do I," Sakura pulled one out of her bag, before she sat down on the grass.

Rokudo stared at her incredulously again.

"You... are a very strange girl, Sakura Mamiya."

Opening her kit, she asked, "How so?"

He sat down next to her and took out the ointment and rubbing alcohol, deciding to help her clean the cuts on her other leg. He dabbed each cut with a cotton swab.

"Not many girls would have done that for a raging spirit."

Sakura tensed. "I'm sorry?"

Rokudo looked at her. "Was it a spirit? That's what Himekawa-san was calling it. A 'horrible ghost' haunting her for her crimes. It wasn't just a rabid dog... Himekawa-san was a neglectful owner."

Paranoid thoughts rushed through Sakura's head. Did he know? Was he going to tell the shinigami council about her sight? What did it mean?

 _Breathe_ , she told herself.

There was no proof that he knew yet. Besides, Himekawa-san had seen the spirit because it was so potent with rage that it had become visible. Therefore it wouldn't be too far-fetched to expect Sakura to have seen it as well...

"I'm..." She hesitated, "not sure if it was a spirit, exactly... but it was angry and it wouldn't rest, not until I tried to soothe it."

She tensed, waiting for Rokudo's eyes to narrow and shout, 'I knew it, you can _see!_ ' But he did not. Instead he was shaking his head and chuckling.

"Not every girl would try and calm down a rabid ghost or dog. Even though you got hurt for all your troubles, all you cared about was burying him," he pressed down a bandage against her calf, "You really are an odd person. Just what are you, Sakura Mamiya?"

"I could ask you the same, Rokudo-kun," Sakura replied serenely. "Not every boy buries the bodies of dead animals he sees either."

His features closed up and he looked away.

"I won't tell anyone," Sakura said quickly. "I think it's really honourable of you. I admire it."

He continued to look at the distance, staring at the long strip of road disappearing beyond the horizon.

When he spoke, he sounded distant. "...Is it really?"

Sakura felt confused.

"Is it really admirable?" He went on, "Really honourable? Or am I just wasting my time?"

"No," She said as soon as the words left his mouth, "you're not. I'm sure that, wherever their souls are now, that they appreciate what you did for them... I do, at least."

Rokudo was looking at her again, but this time, when he smiled, she felt it was genuine.

* * *

He did not ask further about the incident, but Sakura got the feeling that he was very angry with Himekawa-san for how she treated her dog.

"It's unforgiveable, a _bandoning_ Inu-san like that," he had said.

Sakura's empathy told her that his disgust for the situation went deeper than that but she did not ask about it.

Rokudo insisted on walking her home. They took the subway back and then walked the rest of the blocks to her house.

When they reached the door, Sakura turned to Rokudo who was standing awkwardly by her.

"Well, thank you for accompanying me," she said, bowing her head. "I'm really grateful."

"It was no problem," he replied hurriedly. "I was glad to help a friend."

Sakura tensed.

Rokudo noticed this and his face became blank again.

"We... _are_ friends... aren't we?" He paused and seemed to struggle with his thoughts. "Because, well, I'd like to be."

Sakura stared at him.

"Well," Rokudo's words broken into a ramble, "I don't have anyone I can really be myself with... and you... well you know that I'm not really like _that_ at school, so I thought... maybe we could... talk, sometimes, or just... do whatever it is friends do."

She could feel his earnest and honest feelings flowing. There was a hopefulness and desperation... and underneath it all, was a loneliness so akin to Sakura's that she found it startling.

It was a bad idea. Her mind was yelling at her to refuse. He was a shinigami. He would find out about her sight if she grew closer to him or attempted to be friends.

But he wasn't just a shinigami. He was far more compassionate than any of the shinigami she had known and he felt the same loneliness that she did.

Her friends Miho and Rika were wonderful. But they didn't understand her need for silence and peace at times. They didn't understand how worried she was every day for their safety since they were now associated with her.

Rokudo understood, even if he didn't know it yet.

She found herself nodding before she knew it and realized that she had probably wanted this, his friendship, since she had heard him say those fateful words from the other night.

( _Someone has to help you, no one else will bother.)_

She smiled.

"Of course we're friends, Rokudo-kun. You can talk with me whenever you'd like."

The relieved smile she received in return erased her doubts, because there, she could see glimpses of the real Rokudo shining through.

* * *

Just down Sakura's street, watching the two teenagers grin at each other, Ash hovered.

 _It's her... she's so beautiful... But who is that boy? That other man?_

His eyes narrowed when Rokudo placed a hand on Sakura's shoulder before leaving the Mamiya residence.

 _I won't let her get away... not like my darling Misora..._ this _girl, Sakura Mamiya will be my love..._

Shadows gathered around him, caressing the burnt side of his boy.

 _...even if I have to drag her to hell with me._


End file.
